My heart, my love, my life

My heart, my love, my life

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Still waiting....

We received new pictures of them.... They are beautiful.... Sometimes I wish I could reach through the computer to the pictures and hold them. I tell them, soon, soon... Then I ask God, when, when???? Last week, doubts ran through my mind like a freight train speeding out of control. I sat on the floor in my room with Jared and cried for what seemed like hours. KK came in with the mail, "Mom, we got a video!" After we watched it, Jared asked me if I still doubted what God was asking us to do. "No, I don't." But then the next day, I dropped some more paperwork off for our homestudy and she asked about our 1600 A. We haven't applied yet because we haven't had the resources to pay for it. Lord, where is all this going to come from? God works in the most amazing ways- and the exact amount we needed in order to file came within a matter of hours after I drove away from that office :-)! Praise Jesus! Always in His timing and not in ours...

The mountains that have to be moved seem monumental. Our children here at home think this is exciting and taking forever- they can't wait to meet their new siblings and get so excited everytime they see a picture... Oh, Lord forgive me for not trusting... for not having faith... for not believing... I desire to see them play in the yard with their brother and sisters... to laugh and experience love and family... to gather all the pavatt's on mom and daddy's bed to pray and read His word... I am growing impatient. Months seem longer than they really are right now. I am praying for a June court date and maybe--- maybe--- we can bring them home in July... I know it is not about my timing though....

We have lots of other things keeping our lives busy between soccer and schoolwork, for kids and mom. I'm not sure why I thought school was a good idea for me. The kids seem to find it humorous that I have to study and take tests like they do. I feel like I should say, "but yours is so much easier!" Like Austin says to Kailyn... Kailyn is taking a break from gymnastics for awhile, which is so hard... but she wants the opportunity to play some other sports like softball. Life is full and good.... but missing two...

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