We were driving home from KK's gymnastics meet Saturday night and the stars filled the night air. I often wonder if God just threw them out there and watched them fill the empty darkness or did he hand place each one of them? The vastness of the sky that surrounds us is beyond our comprehension, much like God is.... Francis Chan said that our mind is like a coke can and what we can comprehend is like filling the coke can once with the water from the ocean. There is so much more than what we see, feel and hear.... More then what could ever possibility fit in our coke can. Yet, I try to fit God around how I can comprehend Him. Oh, Lord forgive me for my unbelief. Everyday that goes by, the impossibility of bringing these children home looms on my mind. In a few days, they are going to receive a blanket, books, games and some needed necessities from us... On the way to mail them, I hugged those bags as tightly as I could thinking that I could send them hugs through the mail. Hugs to children who don't receive much of anything. We are richly blessed in comparison to what these children have.... Makes you wonder why as a culture we are struggling so much.
Austin climbed into bed with me last night.... Wondering why he has so much and so many have little. What could he do? He could sell some things that he has because he doesn't need most of it anyway. It makes him greedy and just want more. Oh, son I thought- you are so wise... I think I need many things when in reality I just really want them. Do I even understand the difference between a need and a want anymore? Beth Moore says, "Gross excess catapults us so far into our wants that we cease to recognize our needs." Oh, Lord that is me... I have all of the basic necessities and so much more... Please Lord, teach us as a family to be content in You. To rest in your goodness and mercy... To find opportunities to share those gifts. Thank you Lord for your infinite love.... I rest all of these things in you...
Monday, February 16, 2009
How is it that calls our hearts to things that we don't even know???? To a place that we have never been? His word says that "His ways are not our ways," so I know it is not supposed to make sense but I am still so troubled by it. Somewhere all the way around the world, Jared and I have two children that we love and are praying for. I long to hold them and to pray with them. When I watch our children out in the yard, I see the other two with them. How Lord? How is this even possible? The impossibility of it is enough to make me feel like I am drowning. The mountain is too high to climb. Standing at the bottom and looking up- Lord you and only you are going to have to carry us up over the mountain or move it out of the way.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
We sent our application to adopt yesterday. It is so exciting and scary at the same time. We have prayed that God would open the doors if this is His will and slam them shut if it is not. The impossibility of it all is almost suffocating. Luke 1:37 says "Nothing is impossible with God." Nothing Lord? Nothing that is His will... We say "YES" Lord- We want to follow you. To be willing and obedient to your calling. Lead the way Sweet Jesus!!!